Fortress Of Good Fortune

I just got back from viewing Batman v Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Spoilers behind the cut.

( Let me sharpen my skewer to shish-kebab this steroid-infused side of beef )

Here is my spoiler-free recommendation. I recommend seeing this film in a first-run theater if you:

Don’t want to be spoiled.

Enjoy the historic importance of Superman and Batman meeting for the very first time in a big-screen live-action film.

Enjoy the historic importance of seeing Wonder Woman in a big-screen live-action film for the first time evah!

Enjoy the historic importance of seeing DC’s Trinity all on screen together in a big-screen live-action film for the first time.

Enjoy seeing Batman and Superman beat each other to a pulp like two idiots on the local playground.

If none of the above applies to you, then wait to see this on Netflix, or if your first-run theater has a Bargain Day (I did that today), or the movie ends up at a bargain movie theater in a couple of months.

Letter grade: C+. The ‘+’ is all for Wonder Woman, otherwise this would be C-.

Stars: 3 out of 5. 1 star is all for Wonder Woman, otherwise it would be 2 out of 5.

I guess it’s the squandered potential that gets me, but what can you expect from a man (Zack Snyder) who is inspired by Frank Miller? Miller, the guy who made Batman a psychotic who kidnapped Dick Grayson after his parents' deaths and forced him to sleep in the Cave and eat rats, and later Miller character-assassinated poor Dick in a way that I can’t even wrap my head around.

Miller, who made Superman a spineless Government stooge, Diana a vicious man-hater who called men sperm receptacles, made the rest of the JLA idiots and buffoons, and made Black Canary immediately have sex with the Bat-God upon their first meeting. So I guess we were spared most of that, except for the Bat-God beating up Superman. Boy, I wanted Clark to give Bruce a good shot!

I don’t know how many fanworks will come out of this movie. I’ll bet money that it won’t be on par with the first Avengers movie or Captain America 2: The Winter Soldier.

*puts away skewer for now*

Early reviews for Batman vs. Superman are mostly negative: dark, violent and ultimately boring, with Wonder Woman the best part of the film, according to the critics.

I'll let you know my opinion after I see it next Tuesday. Maybe the critics are wrong, but I'll give you a complete rundown when I get back. It doesn't even disturb me about the reviews since I half-expected it. A movie due out in July of 2015 pushed back to May of 2016, then changed to March because the studio doesn't want to go head-to-head with Captain America 3: Civil War kinda gives you a hint, along with the trailers looking like they were filmed during an eclipse, everything's so dark. *squints*